Mannerism in Law
By Juliana Diradour
When I was little, my grandmother always used to tell me, “Never forget your manners!” By my twenties, I figured I had mastered all the relevant etiquette. However, upon beginning law school, I noticed that legal professionals use a different language beyond the words they say, hinting at an entirely new set of social norms and propriety for me to become accustomed to.
It may seem like another culture altogether, but if you break it down, you can learn how to speak the language too. Plus, many of these coincide with your everyday etiquette rules. It takes about seven seconds to make a first impression, and that first impression often affects that person’s forever perception of you – so pay attention!
Introductions & Addressing Others:
Be polite and respectful in all your interactions, whether that be a client, classmates, lawyers, judges, or other professionals. An important way to demonstrate your manners is in the way you introduce yourself. The classic “Good morning/afternoon/day, my name is….It’s nice to meet you.” is one that I am positive is already very obvious to you.
However, when I started law school, I found addressing others over email for the first time was the opposite of “very obvious.” I spent half an hour considering whether it was appropriate to refer to lawyers I was emailing for coffee chats by their first name or if I should use “Mr or Mrs”. As a general rule, I’ve come to learn that you can normally refer to colleagues or lawyers by their first name, unless stated otherwise. If you are unsure, it usually does not hurt to use someone’s full name or honourific, as long as you are avoiding deliberately misusing someone’s preferred gender salutation.
Handshakes:
Mastering the handshake is probably one of the most important things you’ll need for your legal career. This is a significant part of someone’s first impression of you and has been found to reveal information about one’s personality. Maintain a reasonable amount of space, make eye contact, and be firm without being harsh.
Eye contact:
Have you heard that people avoid eye contact when they are lying? Regardless of whether this is true, it is a significant form of nonverbal communication that people pay attention to. Maintaining eye contact is an important skill for a legal career, as it helps others feel more connected to you and demonstrates confidence. However, this should not be overly intense either – try the 50/70 rule: maintain eye contact for 50% of the time when you are speaking and 70% when the other person is speaking.
Smiling:
Last month, I had a coffee chat with a lawyer and asked her what she looks for in students when she’s interviewing, and to my surprise, she told me, “a smile.” She explained that she meets so many students who constantly wear neutral expressions, making her feel they are bored or uninterested. A warm, friendly smile can make you seem more engaged and personable! A smile, along with eye contact, is a common indicator of active listening.
Being mindful of cultural differences:
This article is not a strict to-do list because sometimes you’ll be in situations where the person you are working or conversing with does not shake hands or avoids sustained eye contact. In a multicultural country and a globalized world, you are bound to encounter this reality at one point or another. I recommend doing your research beforehand, but this may only be helpful if you know ahead of time that you are meeting with someone from a particular culture.
As a general rule, I believe the key is to read body language, be open, and be able to take responsibility for mistakes. For example, if you meet someone who does not shake hands and you are unaware of this beforehand, you may extend your hand to greet them. Pay attention – they may outright tell you that they do not shake hands or indirectly reject the greeting through redirection or a lack of response. Do not automatically take this action as “rude” or “unprofessional” as this is rhetoric that excludes people who do not fit the norm of a legal professional, which has historically been linked to Western, Christian, masculinity, whiteness, and upper-class backgrounds. A simple correction and apology, if necessary, can be given and you can move on from there.
Professional etiquette is something that is going to follow you throughout your whole legal career, whether that be while networking for an internship or meeting with your own clients when you are a partner at a firm. The etiquette might seem simple enough, but body language and mannerisms can significantly impact your relationships, so you need to really consider the impression you leave on others.